To Work or Not to Work?

Making the decision of how much maternity leave to take is a tough one. I am eternally grateful that I have choices in the matter, but it still isn't easy. Among the factors to consider are finances, boredom from not having a life outside of the home, stress from having commitments outside of the home and last but certainly not least, what is best for the baby.

Most days I think that being a stay-at-home mom sounds like the greatest thing in the world. But some days I wonder if I might really appreciate having a job and getting out of the house as a mother. It's true that I love being at home, having a clean apartment, organizing, baking, cooking from scratch and folding lovely smelling piles of laundry. I love the domestic life, but maybe it's something I appreciate because when I find the time for it, it's a change of pace and not something I'm doing all the time. It could be isolating being at home all day with the baby. I've spoken to a lot of women who say that after six months they were starting to feel a little stir crazy and that at that point, the baby is ready to interact with other babies and be social, so it's perfect for mom and baby if mom can work part-time. But I've also spoken with women who say that six months is when the baby becomes so enchanting and amazing and they can't imagine possibly missing one hour of the day. Talk about high stakes!

I'm struggling with this because I always thought I would stay at home as much and as long as possible. But now that I find myself as a foreigner in a strange land with a work permit that is connected to my employer, I'm hesitant to give up my position for fear that another one might not come along at the right time. Taking a full year would not be a problem, until the year were over. We can maintain a reasonable standard of living if we stretch my maternity pay out over a year, but then if I didn't get a job and we found ourselves living off of dad-to-be's income only, it would be, in my opinion, tight and rather uncomfortable. That is not something I want to risk, but at the same time, it's hard to say whether or not I'd have any difficulty finding a job when I was ready for one. Another big financial consideration is that I get a 50% discount on childcare at my current position. This is a major consideration because childcare prices in Switzerland are on par with private university tuition in the US. You think I'm exaggerating? The going rate in the Zurich area is 2000 CHF per month for half-day care between 7:30 am and 1:30 pm Monday through Friday and 3000 CHF per month for full-day care 7:30 am - 5:30 pm Monday through Friday. It is a huge benefit to have a 50% break on that absurdly significant cost. What's more, my baby would be in care on-site and Swiss law says I can breastfeed at any time during my shift. The bottom line is this: financially, it makes sense to take only six months leave and then go back to work part-time.

But money isn't everything and I don't feel fully confident leaving my six-month old baby in daycare. I know the nursery staff at my company and I know they're running a quality program and yet it still seems wrong to leave my baby in their care. My own background in child development and education says it's wrong and research and experts' opinions say it's wrong, too. This article from The Sunday Times states very clearly that a recent Unicef study has concluded that "all children should where possible be cared for by parents at home during the first 12 months of life" and calls doing otherwise a "high-stakes gamble." Because the first year of life is a time when the baby is trying to establish a one-on-one connection with their parents and caregivers, day care, even good day care is tough. Within day cares there is turnover of staff, and day to day there is the rotation of the staff. So the poor baby who wants to connect one-on-one is presented with an ever changing merry go round of faces and probably winds up feeling very alone. Before getting pregnant, I would have agreed with the article and put down my vote for no day care. As a pregnant woman, my heart is still voting no day care before 12 months, but my mind is concerned with pragmatics. 

What will I do? Will I be missing out on my child's development if I go back to work part-time? Will I be depriving my child by putting him or her in day care? I hope not. My current idea is that I will work Monday through Thursday 7:45 am to 1:00 pm and have Fridays off. I hope that the baby will take a morning nap and that by the time we go home together at one o'clock, we will still have the chance to enjoy each other's company during the afternoon. I like to think that we'll come home, read a few books together, have a little nap and then maybe go for a walk and do some grocery shopping or do a little gardening on the balcony and some baking. Or maybe it will work out for me to work in the afternoons instead of the morning. The truth is I want to make the right decision financially, for my own self, for the lifestyle and comfort of our family and for the baby's well being. As per usual with me, that is a tall order!

Pregnancy Glow...And Itching!

By far, the changes in my skin are one of my favorite parts of pregnancy. Likewise, they're one of the worst! Pregnancy has made my face smooth, glowing and radiant. It's also made my back and tummy really dry and itchy! But, to the rescue we have the amazing Louis Widmer Remederm Body Cream. 

photo from fruugo.com

I discovered this heavenly cream because there are various samples and pamphlets at the little desk where the nurse takes my blood pressure and tests my hemoglobin count at each appointment. I took a little tube of this stuff, tried it, marveled at the gorgeous subtle scent and creamy hydrating qualities and then saw that it was Swiss made and sadly assumed it was way too expensive to ever consider buying.

But, curiosity tends to get the best of us, doesn't it? I popped into the pharmacy today and had a peek, you know, just for kicks. Much to my surprise - and delight - a big 250 ml jar of this to die for cream is only 40 CHF. The word "only" may sound out of place in that sentence to those of you not living in Switzerland. But, for those of you who do live here, can you believe it? Swiss quality - in that quantity - at that price? I bought a jar on the spot and I can't wait to have dad-to-be rub it all over my itchy belly and back after my shower this evening. Hurrah!

Prenatal Yoga & Exercise

I want to be as healthy and toned as can be going into labor and naturally the best way to make that happen is through prenatal yoga and exercise. I feel fortunate that I have no car and walk 15 minutes back and forth to work each day. I'm also thankful that my walk to work is uphill half way for added benefit. Walking is wonderful, but not enough, so I started looking for a prenatal yoga class. I found one, but this being Switzerland, I can only afford to go once a week! Enter the Prenatal Yoga DVD. Thanks to Amazon, I now have three prenatal exercise DVDs. One yoga, one pilates and one "workout" whatever that means.

photo from amazon.com

Today I tried out the Prenatal & Postnatal Yoga with Elena Brower and I really enjoyed it. It's about thirty minutes long and provides a nice, relaxing and just challenging enough yoga sequence. Afterward, I felt refreshed and limber and more open. I will definitely get a lot of use out of this DVD during my pregnancy, and then afterward, I am happy to know I'll have the Postnatal sequence to help my body back to strength following delivery. Over the next couple of weeks, I'll report back on the other two DVDs. I guess not being able to afford the yoga class more often isn't so bad after all!

Boy? Girl? Surprise?

Initially dad-to-be wanted to find out if our baby was a boy or a girl and I wanted to wait and have it be a surprise at the birth. This is hilarious because I hate surprises and dad-to-be is a fan. Go figure! 

Adorable gender neutral onsies from Baby Gap.
photo from www.gap.com, click to see more

Then, after becoming freaked out and obsessed with the perils of ultrasounds, we decided that we should forego any further ultrasounds, and therefore find out the baby's gender at the birth. Of course, then we calmed down about the ultrasounds and it became a question once again. I started to wonder if it would be better to know. You know, for decorating, for preparing myself as a mom-to-be for the baby and so people could buy gender specific gifts. As luck would have it, dad-to-be found himself completely on the side of waiting, because it can be a powerful motivator to get through labor and the birth announcement is that much more exciting when you can declare boy or girl and not just "born." So once again we weren't really sure what to do...

We have decided to WAIT! Everyone we've talked to who waited said it's the most exhilarating thing to deliver the baby and hear the doctor declare, "It's a _______!!!." Our doula said it's magical because all through the pregnancy you're wondering what it will be like to have a boy, what type of mother you'll be to a boy, or what it will be like to have a girl and how it would be different and then, she said, when the baby is born and you hold it and see it, none of that matters because it's your baby and you love it so much words can't even describe. Now that sounds incredible!

Bun in the Oven

A friend of mine believes that when women get pregnant they become better at baking somehow. I have to say I completely agree. Since discovering the little bun in my oven, I've been overwhelmed with the desire to bake things. The other night, I saw a few overripe bananas on the counter, flipped open my America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook and whipped up the most delicious loaf of banana bread I've ever tasted. No kidding! A week later, I got the inspiration to make Bran Muffins and they were equally wonderful. Just last weekend, for dad-to-be's birthday, I made cupcakes from scratch (as in not from a box) for the very first time. How did they turn out? Beyond perfection. Really. Moist, chewy, chocolatey perfection.

While cupcake making is not the healthiest hobby for a pregnant woman to discover - it took a lot of will power to put that cupcake back after photographing it - I really do think I've found my calling. Seriously! I'm now dreaming of opening my own cupcake shop when we move back to the US. Like cooking, baking is pure enjoyment for me. I lose track of time (not while anything is in the oven, of course!) get in the zone and become absorbed in the wonderfully satisfying task at hand. It's pure flow. Unlike cooking, baking is sweet and adorable, too! What's not to love?